Doom Patrol has slowly established itself as one of DC’s solid live-action offerings. This is all thanks to the edgier content that was made possible by the TV-MA rating. Throughout the four seasons, fans have not only witnessed some of the wildest storylines, but they’ve also gotten to hear some of the most shocking and hilarious remarks.
Ranging from the philosophical to the basic, the majority of these quotes never fail to intrigue fans. However, the lines that have truly stuck in fans’ minds are the funny ones. These quotes are not only intelligently crafted, but they also fit very well within Doom Patrol.
10 “I Got This, I Speak Robot” – Cliff Steele
“Ezekiel Patrol” (Season 1, Episode 15)
As one of the most powerful Doom Patrol villains, Mr. Nobody enjoys tormenting the superhero group and at one point, he sends a giant robot to deal with the members. Since he has a robot body, Cliff Steele figures he can persuade the new foe to agree to some form of a peace treaty, but he isn’t successful.
Watching the Doom Patrol members get obliterated by the robot is as funny as watching Cliff try to reason with it. On a positive note, it doesn’t count as one of their embarrassing losses because it’s revealed that Mr. Nobody was actually turning his vision into a reality. That’s how he made the robot win.
9 “Grant Morrison Fans, Reddit Trolls With DC Subscriptions, And The 3 New Fans Who Stuck Around After The Donkey Fart” – Mr. Nobody
“Donkey Patrol” (Season 1, Episode 2)
Mr. Nobody breaks the fourth wall a lot during Doom Patrol, but since he is the only one with the ability, other characters never understand what he is doing. So, upon noticing that Niles Caulder is wondering who he is talking to, Mr. Nobody explains.
The choice to show a farting donkey in the series premiere is indeed a strange one, but Doom Patrol does even better by using Mr. Nobody’s fourth-wall-breaking to make fun of it. According to the villain, no one should have kept watching after that. On top of that, hearing him reference one of the most celebrated comic writers is remarkable, too.
8 “He Can Send A Text To Batman” – Cliff Steele
“Cyborg Patrol” (Season 1, Episode 12)
Empathy isn’t an emotion that machines identify with, so Cliff Steele doesn’t show the slightest bit of concern when he learns that Cyborg has been abducted by the Bureau of Normalcy and tortured. Cliff figures that the hero can take care of himself and if things go bad, he can always ask Batman for help.
Cyborg has a relationship with some of the experienced members of the Justice League because he has been a part of the group occasionally. For this reason, Cliff believes there are other people out there who are more qualified to help Cyborg if he ever needs it. The question is how Cyborg would send a text while captured.
7 “Not Since The Early ’60s, No” – Larry Trainor
“Dumb Patrol” (Season 2, Episode 7)
Larry Trainor, aka Negative Man, has a reputation for being one of the most distracted superheroes. This becomes evident when Cyborg introduces Roni to Negative Man, but he doesn’t appear to be paying attention. Cyborg then asks Negative Man if he’s okay, and he gives a fitting response.
As dire as Larry’s situation is, viewers are forced to laugh because of his tone and delivery. What makes his moment of self-pity funnier is that he is actually telling the truth. His list of misfortunes is long, as his dreams of being an Air Force Test Pilot were squashed and he also got tortured.
6 “My Name Is Doctor Tyme, With A “Y”, Because, Why Not?”
“Tyme Patrol” (Season 2, Episode 2)
One of the corniest lines in Doom Patrol comes from Dr. Jonathan Tyme, who possesses the Contininium mineral. Since he is a time traveler, it would be more appropriate for his name to be spelled with an “I,” but he prefers a “Y” andhas no specific reason for that.
The remark is right in line with Dr. Tyme’s personality because he is shown to prefer cooler, edgier things. Having traveled through every time period, he also considers the ‘80s as the greatest ever decade because of the disco culture and daring fashion.
5 “Crisis Of Infinite A**” – Crazy Jane
“Butt Patrol” (Season 4, Episode 2)
One of the biggest threats the Doom Patrol members face is the invasion of the Gluteus Morticus, aka Were-Butts. As the group figures out a way to reverse the invasion, Crazy Jane comes up with a term for the crisis they are facing.
It’s a marvelous remark because it not only plays into the Were-Butt name but also one of the most important events in DC history, Crisis On Infinite Earths. Even Crazy Jane’s colleagues can’t help but chuckle at the term, which highlights the overall silly nature of the show.
4 “Hey Siri, What Is The Doom Patrol?” – Crazy Jane
“Doom Patrol Patrol” (Season 1 Episode 6)
The rest of Cyborg’s team members are always fascinated by his body. This includes Crazy Jane, who can’t understand how he functions. She thus makes fun of him by touching his chest circle and asking it to define the Doom Patrol.
Crazy Jane’s comparison of Cyborg’s digital assistant to Apple’s Siri is hilarious because the former does way more than just answer questions. She also says the words when Cyborg happens to be in a very bad mood, resulting in him getting even more frustrated.
3 “People Lie, And They Hurt Each Other. And They Wear These Things On Their Feet Called Crocs” – Rita Farr
“Paw Patrol” (Season 1, Episode 5)
Rita generally thinks of herself as a good person. During a heart-to-heart conversation with Elliot, she goes on to explain why she couldn’t let him die. She further insists that she is not like other evil people in the world, who do bad things like wearing crocs.
Rita isn’t joking when she mentions crocs as she truly believes that they are one of the worst things to happen to mankind. Why exactly she feels this way is a mystery, but her passionate, endless rant about foot fashion leaves viewers with no other choice but to burst out in laughter.
2 “So Sorry. I Was Shooting For The Splenius Capitis, And I Accidentally Flexed The Splenius Cervicus” – Flex Mentallo
“Penultimate Patrol” (Season 1, Episode 14)
Flex Mentallo can boast that he has one of the coolest DC powers as he can easily cause different reactions in others by flexing his muscles. However, he makes a mistake when he flexes the wrong muscle, which causes everyone around him to experience a pleasurable sensation.
Hearing Flex explain his mistake using scientific terms turns out to be hilarious. Furthermore, everyone seems fine with what he is doing, and some even beg him to continue. As expected, Cliff starts getting frustrated because his robotic body prevents him from feeling what others are feeling.
1 “You Have Said “Booya” 31 Times Since The Accident, Well Above The Threshold For A Catchphrase” – Grid
“Therapy Patrol” (Season 1, Episode 7)
Dating would be a challenge for Cyborg given his robotic form, but he still enjoys the attention he gets from female fans on a dating app. To entertain them, he keeps repeating his catchphrase “Booya!,” which angers his AI system.
The above line is a simple ploy from the AI to get Cyborg to be quiet, as he hadn’t mentioned the word prior to the dialogue in this specific scene. This line is also hilarious because it shows just how annoying Cyborg can be, as even a system with no emotions gets angry at him.
NEXT: 10 DC Comics Runs That Turned Fans Into Haters
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