Pokémon come in many shapes and sizes. They can be cute and cuddly, edgy and deadly, or anything in between. Nearly every Pokémon fan has wondered what it would be like to have one as a pet or companion, but the list of potential partners often comes to the ones that fall into the adorable, marketable category. It’s rare that someone vies for the companionship of the more lethal monsters.
Taking into account Pokédex entries and the things they have been known to do throughout the franchise, some Pokémon aren’t very suitable for domestic life, assuming they aren’t too much of a pain to catch in the first place. All that to say, it’s best to leave some Pokémon alone.
Often times, pets will have a personal cache of food that belongs to them and only them. Whether because of biological or hierarchal differences between man and beast, very rarely will the family dog or local alley cat dip into their human owners’ refrigerator stock. Snorlax would not play by those unspoken rules.
Even as far back as Generation I, Snorlax has always been infamous for its insatiable appetite, to the point where Legends Arceus all but outright calls Snorlax a harbinger of famine. Catching Snorlax would be no easy task. Waking it up with the Poké Flute is an arduous task in and of itself.
Wild dogs are scary enough in the real world, roaming across the African plains with the endurance of heavy-duty generators and attacking with a bite force that makes their hyena cousins proud. When trying t catch a Houndoom or any of its Houndour subordinates, it’s like dealing with the fiercest wild dog, only these can breathe inextinguishable fire.
Houndooms are territorial hellhounds whose flames create wounds that never heal. Their bone-chilling howl has caused many people to liken them to the Grim Reaper. The protagonist of Scarlet and Violet was lucky to have a Paradox Pokémon with them at the start of their adventure, or else the game’s rating would go from E to M expeditiously.
Primates are a mixed bag when it comes to reputation. On one end of the spectrum, there are gorillas that most people understand are tree-climbing pacifists who only really fight when necessary, while on the other are humans who demonstrate their innate destructive desires every hour of every day.
Even further than that is Primeape, with a temper comparable to the Hulk. However, the Hulk’s never been so angry he that he straight-up died. Primeape has, as demonstrated by his new evolution in Paldea. Not even its Trainer may be safe. Anyone who makes eye contact with Primeape is cruising for a bruising. Similarly, running from it or beating it in a fight only makes it angrier.
Don’t let Muk’s cute interactions with Professor Oak distract from the fact that it’s a moving pile of heavily toxic sludge. Were the anime not meant for kids, the first glomp would have written the old researcher out of the show for good, since touching it is enough to transfer terrible poisons from Muk to another living thing.
Catching Muk would also be a feat in and of itself, given how simply being near it causes many to faint from how awful it smells. If that’s not convincing enough, Muk brought down the Garbador population in Alola at the cost of making their natural rivals stronger than their Unovan counterparts.
Tyranitar is what would happen if Godzilla was compressed down to near human size, but kept almost all of his destructive power. This irate armored lizard sets up its territory in the mountains by destroying them before roaming the wreckage in search of strong foes.
Part of what makes Tyranitar so terrifying is its raw strength and violent urges, which only escalate when it Mega Evolves. Splitting its back open, it’s forced to run on rage, fumes, and a dream to the point where it’s doubtful that a Trainer can even reel it in. It’s a good thing the iconic Rock-type Tyranitar has one of the worst defensive typings, or it could run roughshod over any region unfortunate enough to house them.
Chandelure on its own isn’t all that scary, but it is unfortunately dragged down by the baggage of its pre-evolutions, Litwick and Lampent. Litwick, the baby of the family, is infamous for sapping vitality from other creatures, while Lampent is an omen of doom that uses spiritual energy as its fuel.
The entire evolutionary line is maligned for how closely they are associated with death, which is probably why it begged Shauntal to lead its PR team. One point in Chandelure’s favor is that it would make a killer ornament for people who enjoy gothic-style architecture. However, it’s not worth slashing the homeowner’s lifespan over.
Jewelry owners should steer clear of Sableye, a gem-eating gremlin that may be all too happy to feed after midnight. The Pokédex goes far as to state that the reason its eyes are gems in the first place is because of its uncontrolled diet of minerals, the substances of which crystallize and form on its body.
Sableye would be a menace to train for anyone with expensive accessories, as it’s unlikely to hesitate to make a snack out of them once the Trainer’s back is turned. Fortunately, stopping it would be pretty easy once it’s started, but the constant games of keep-away would quickly get old.
Hatenna is a precious creature that can’t stand strong emotions for very long, but it can’t do much about them. Once it evolves into Hattrem, and later Hatterene, it becomes the epitome of the “looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you” meme. Creating an atmosphere of peace by force, Hatterene reminds fans of other cute anime characters with a deadly side.
Keeping a Hatterene tranquil is a big ask, as any surge in strong emotions will trigger an episode, assuming someone can catch and keep them. Hatterene and its pre-evolutions have a hard time warming up to people who don’t have calm demeanors. Any rough or rowdy Trainers won’t be their Trainer for very long, if at all.
Catching a Beedrill sounds simple enough. Light it on fire, throw the ball, and mission accomplished. While that may be a sound strategy on paper, one important detail to take into account is that Beedrill are both social and highly territorial. A slight against one member of the colony is a declaration of war to the entire group and, just like real-life bees, they can be relentless to the point of recklessness.
A fight against one Beedrill would be a fight against the whole colony, which would make aiming at the desired Beedrill a challenge, like in Hoard Encounters. Thankfully, they don’t seem to be as temperamental when caught, but one must ask if the reward is worth the effort.
When someone says the word “destruction,” quite a few Pokémon come to mind. However, few embody the concept better than the three-headed horror hailing from Unova and predecessor to Iron Jugulis, Hydreigon. This six-winged terror soars through the sky on a warpath against anything with the audacity to move within its line of sight.
Catching Hydreigon wouldn’t be hard just because of how rare and powerful they are, but also because it would likely be the one making the first move, taking unsuspecting Trainers by surprise with an aerial ambush. Sadly, humans are likely at fault for their hyper-violent tendencies, since Scarlet and Violet posit the theory that Hydreigon adapted this behavior through generations of abuse.
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