Michael Scott’s Weirdest Quotes In The Office

3 images of Michael Scott in The Office

US sitcom The Office was groundbreaking in many ways and continues to rake in new fans, even though it ended a decade ago. The series was hugely successful, which was thanks to its hilarious storylines, eccentric characters, and relatable situations. Although The Office didn’t have just one main character, Michael Scott is the closest thing at the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin.

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Michael Scott cemented himself as one of the strangest and most eccentric characters in The Office with his bizarre quotes and hilarious antics. He has an incredible legacy, and he will forever be remembered as one of the most complex, strange, and interesting characters ever written.

10 “That’s What She Said. Grapes…Seductive”

Season 2, Ep. 17

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Michael was known in the office for his juvenile jokes, and the primary one was, “that’s what she said.” This is a weird joke for the boss to continuously make and would be considered incredibly unprofessional in real life. A lot of the time, Michael didn’t even use the joke correctly or used it when he was his boss, Jan, told him not to.

In “Dwight’s Speech,” Dwight wins Salesman of the Year and is required to give an acceptance speech. He is eating grapes at his desk before the event, and Michael chimes in with, “That’s what she said.” Dwight laughs at first, but he later tells Michael that he doesn’t understand the joke. Michael explains with the equally bizarre quote, “Grapes…seductive.”

9 “You Need To Learn A Lot About Your Own Culture”

Season 4, Ep. 9

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Craig Robinson as Darryl Philbin from The Office

After Michael tells Darryl that he needs to “learn a lot about his own culture,” he informs the group of office performers that they need to make their jingle a rap, which Darryl attempts to do. This still doesn’t please Michael.

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The song Darryl and the others were writing and playing in “Local Ad” was for a Dunder Mifflin advert. Darryl quits after Michael exclaims that he “hates” what they’re playing, but Michael attempts to backtrack this statement by saying, “I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.”

8 “Sometimes I’ll Start A Sentence, And I Don’t Even Know Where It’s Going”

Season 5, Ep. 12

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>David Wallace in The Office

Michael attends a meeting with David Wallace in the episode “The Duel” where David asks Michael what he is doing right. Other branches are failing, whereas Michael’s is improving. Michael gives the most bizarre response and says, “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what. No matter who you are with or where you are going or, or where you’ve been, ever for any reason whatsoever.”

To the cameras outside the room, Michael says, “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” Whatever Michael was trying to convey clearly didn’t get across, as he said so much without saying anything at all.

7 “I Am Beyoncé, Always”

Season 6, Ep. 25

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Michael Scott and Donna Newton from The Office

In “The Chump,” Michael is dating a married woman. This is to the annoyance of just about everybody, but particularly Andy. Angela had recently cheated on Andy with Dwight, and Michael’s insistence that he is the good guy rubbed Andy the wrong way. This is a weird encounter because Michael is usually a morally sound person, and he also knows Andy’s history.

Andy tells Michael that, “In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero. You’re Ali Larter, I’m Beyoncé.” Michael replies, in an iconic but strange line, expressing that he is Beyoncé, always.

6 “The Doctors Tried To Save Her Life. They Did The Best That They Could”

Season 4, Ep. 1

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Meredith with a shaved head in The Office.

At the beginning of season four, Michael is driving to work when he accidentally hits someone. He looked away from the road and at the camera, which caused him to run over Meredith as he turned into the parking lot.

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When Michael goes upstairs, he tells the room that Meredith has been hit by a car by explaining that he “took her to the hospital, and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could.” He strangely implied that Meredith had not made it before he said that she is going to be okay. He tried to hide the fact that he hit Meredith, which was typical for Michael.

5 “Snip Snap, Snip Snap, Snip Snap”

Season 4, Ep. 9

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Michael Scott and Jan Levinson arguing from The Office

In “Dinner Party,” Michael invites Jim and Pam over to his condo for a dinner party. Usually, Jim would have an excuse not to attend, but Michael knows he has no plans and therefore traps him into attending.

However, the evening is a disaster as Jan and Michael argue. Michael expresses that he never gets what he wants and delivers a weird quote on his feelings about vasectomies. The couple air out all of their problems to Michael’s employees, including how much Jan changes her mind about kids, which made the evening strange and uncomfortable.

4 “Well Well Well, How The Turntables”

Season 5, Ep. 25

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Michael and Pam in The Office

After leaving Dunder Mifflin and creating his own paper company, Michael is invited to a meeting, alongside Pam and Ryan, as he is creating a problem for his old workplace. David and Charles want to buy them out, which only creates further issues.

When Michael, Pam, and Ryan arrive at their old office and all eyes turn to them, Michael exclaims, “Well well well. How the turntables…” He doesn’t finish his sentence and instead plunges the room into an awkward silence. He meant “how the tables have turned” but failed to convey this in a serious setting.

3 “LittleKidLover. That Way People Will Know Exactly Where My Priorities Are At”

Season 2, Ep. 18

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Michael Scott looking lovingly at his employees in The Office

Near the end of “Take Your Daughter to Work Day,” Michael decides to sign up for an online dating service. Michael brought in a video of himself from when he was a kid, and he shared that his goals were to have a wife and kids, which he is yet to do. He realizes how far behind in life he feels.

Because of this, Michael joins a dating site to search for his future wife. He needs a username and expresses that he “has a great one: LittleKidLover.” He thinks that people will know exactly where his priorities are at. Michael means to say that he wants to have children and loves them, but it doesn’t come across that way.

2 “The Only Thing I Am Worried About Is Getting [Aroused]”

Season 2, Ep. 2

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Phyllis Vance in The Office

The Office episode “Sexual Harassment” involves two things Michael hates most: Toby telling him what to do and having to cut down on his jokes. Todd Packer is only making the situation more difficult, as he insults Phyllis’ appearance.

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Michael hugs Phyllis, and Phyllis makes it clear that she wouldn’t report him to Toby. Michael tells Phyllis that he’s not worried, and in fact, the only thing he is worried about is getting aroused. Even though Michael is known for saying outlandish and random things, this line was still a surprise to the members of the office, and an awkward silence ensued.

1 “She Was So Innocent”

Season 4, Ep. 10

<!–[if IE 9]> <![endif]–>Michael Scott on Casino Night in The Office.

Michael declares that he is “a man of intensity, of cool, and youth, and passionately” in “The Chair Model,” as he has his employees help him find his future wife. However, the episode takes a very weird turn when Michael likes the chair model in a catalog and believes that “fate put this catalog in [his] hands.”

When Michael discovers the chair model is dead, he acts as though he has lost someone close to him. He and Dwight even go as far as visiting her grave where Michael expresses that “she was so innocent” and the “perfect person out there waiting for him” is dead. They don’t know each other and never met, so Michael’s response is startling.

NEXT: Best Michael Scott Characters In The Office, Ranked


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